Tuesday, October 12, 2010
So once upon a time a little girl was sitting in her 2nd Grade class room doing her assignment. Out of habit she began humming a happy little tune. Suddenly the teacher asked who was making noise, looking around the little girl was puzzled as to who would have the audacity to disrupt the class. Unable to find the perpetrator the class when back to work. Once again the little girl began humming. Finally the teacher realized who it was, and asked the little girl if she was humming. Completely unaware that humming was something that was shared with the world the little girl was horror struck! Who would have thought that something so personal as humming would be shared with all in ear shot? I certainly would not have thought so!
As you might have guess that little girl was indeed me, and yes it was devastating to find that even something so quiet as humming was automatically exposed to the world. I find it upsetting that even to this day I will not hum in public, not sure exactly why. As I was walking into the library today to "study" I heard a kid humming and was amazed. Sure, it is simple, I mean who can't hum, wait that's a dumb comment...everyone can hum, not everyone should. Still my world was changed when I came to the realization that humming was not a private matter. I will never be able to hum with the joy that I did before this realization.
Don't worry I still will write about my trip to Texas, I just need more time to set aside.
Unable to Hum
Sunday, August 1, 2010
When I got home from the zoo with my day, I walked into my room and found a little yellow stickie note that said,"1. The gift of life wasn't mine to give-but mine to receive- Heavenly Father allowed us to have your sweet spirit in our family- If not us- you would have blessed the life of others, to our great loss! For #2 look in the bag we use when we take the bike."
So I looked in the pink bag from old navy that my mom and I use for bike rides and found..."#2. Frugal and thrifty you inspire us all with your dedication and determination to carry your own load and easy the burdens of others! For clue 3 look in the book that's read each night- taking turns together before we turn out the light."
Following the clue, I looked in the scriptures and found, "#3 A scholar and more, you lead the way- reminding us its worth it, if we get lost in the fray! #4 this wonder thing helped you find your pitch!"
Looking in the piano, I discovered, "#4 Singing is key to who you are -even if you choose a different path- Nourish the seed it will make memories that last and last! #5 My tummy's full of coins- but even that doesn't stop me from moving from spot to spot"
This one took more thought to find, but after a few minutes I realized where I needed to look, the piggy bank that Ashtyn loves to play with! So upstairs I ran, checking that very location, where I uncovered "#5 Saving is key, but not alone-giving and spending, balance the zone- making a happier person to be. #6 Look where you spend time, make your hair beautifully shine!"
Another easy one lead me straight to the bathroom, where in the draw with my straightener was "#6 The outside matters but to a few! And most don't count- which leaves just you! You are beautiful inside and out! #7 For me think peddling- racing fast little legs are amazing, just ask!"
Downstairs in the tricycle that my nephews ride was "#7 Nurturing- insightful- caring too- little children and development are what you do! #8 Some store with trees- on shelves or on racks many of yours hand patiently in a canvas pouch"
Stumped! I couldn't figure it out! I asked my dad and my brother, nothing, we couldn't find the next clue. Finally after much thought, and a few extra hints, I found it! #8 was hidden in my closet in one of the pouches that my shoes hang in. And it said "#8 The collection was growing to impressive size, when maturity helped open your eyes- shoes serve a purpose and are fun none the less but vitally important they don't pass the test! #9 Cravings are a normal part of life- An easy fix is this and a few and sugary satisfaction just for you"
I looked in all of the places we normally hide our treats, but didn't find anything, suddenly I knew where to look. In the cereal cabinet, on the top of the oatmeal (great for no-bake cookies) was "#9 Resourceful and competent- a value shopper and more you will bless you husband with dinners of good food galore!#10 Think quad's and speed to find the next clue- Dust may coat me but I gave my due"
The Skier's Edge is right were I found the next little note, which said "#10 Your glory days need not be over- The skill remains and will serve you well at some further time Memories were made and character developed the time was well sent and repay when shared with another. #11 Pink and fluffy you will find #11 just behind"
I figured that it would be best to check the place where the most pink was in the house, so too my room I went. And right behind my pillow I found "#11 We've travelled together you and me Comfort and safety are what I bring- Reminders of home an security too- Intangible memories through tangible means- "A pillow" some say- but to others "a dream"- #12 Another would complain are my jeans washed Too quickly said you- so here dirt clothes you stash"
In my hamper I found "#12 Life's lesson's are long and the tests may be hard- You will come out on top because you regard values eternal and true to the core! For #13 Look on the back of your door"
Plain and simple, I looked and I found "#13 An open book some may say- intelligent smart- I say most important is your open heart! #14 Excel you do and excel you kept look here for 14 but not too deep"
Inside my briefcase I found "#14 The KKK has struck again- and many a life they've brightened- Remember how to lift another and you too will rise the better (Great memories shared) #15 can be found where pictures hang together"
Looking behind all the pictures hanging throughout the house, after some searching I found #15 on the magnet board in the entry way, it read "#15 A writer I have dreams to be but maybe not as planned It may be you through this achieved the writer you not me! #16When almost done what crazy idea was this #16 lies in a pile, a mess- of junk with quick access!"
I looked upstairs in the box in my room that holds all of my random stuff, no luck. Then I tried the drawer in the kitchen table and found "#16 Around the house you had to search for clues and memories-Each to make you realize your specialties! #17 Where you began the last project huge! Moldings, sills, and spiderwebs"
Searching the dining room high and low I found the next clue in the lamp the initiated the entire cleaning spree by housing a spider and breaking a light bulb (which made it easier to vacuum up the spider). The clue read "#17 Sentimental I'm not, but you could become- better than me and warmer you'll be- Don't let yourself close off the soft spot embrace the gentle side- the treasuring of things- a sentimental lot. #18 is one of my few objects of sentimentality"
Immediately I knew, the picture! No other description is necessary, if you know my mother well enough you know what I am talking about! The next note said "#18 I hope you haven't goofed up- but then why not you see that would only exemplify what makes me "me" goofy is good! Embrace your goofy side. Brighten the lives and days of others with laughter. #19 is the last clue, takes you to your treasures to keep - look in the bag which shows why I couldn't go to the zoo!"
So to my mothers temple bag I went! And I found a small wrapped package with this not on top, "#19 Your gift and the end of this inane exercise- the goal to make your birthday with remembering without wastefully money to dish! Happy Birthday!"
Inside of that package was the Complete Jane Austen Collection of BBC movies!!! I was so stoked!! I also got a white chocolate KitKat bar which happens to be my all time favorite candy bar!! The gifts are not the important part though, the important and best gift was the scavenger hunt through the house that lead me down memory lane and almost brought tears to my eyes. To me, the thought is much more important than the money spent. I love my mom! She is the best!! I couldn't do much of anything without all the support she gives me! She cares more than any one else and puts others above herself! I had a wonderful birthday with my family, which is all that I wanted!!
happy with the simple things
Sunday, July 25, 2010
First of all, the condo we were staying in was in Midway, UT which is 45 minutes away from Salt Lake. So my mother and I set out to Salt Lake early in the morning in effort to help Sarah get ready for the blessing and the lunch afterwards. While driving we made a wrong turn. Once we realized that we didn't recognize the place, we debated turning around or not. As we kept driving, unable to decide what to do, we saw a sign that said 5* miles to Park City. Figuring that it was in the same general direction that we intended to go we continued driving. About 3/4* of a mile later there was a sign for "Rough, Curvy Road Next 4*miles" and another one that said "End of State Maintenance". Usually signs like this exaggerate, figuring that we would be fine we soon dismissed any ideas of turning around and pressed forward. Then the pavement stopped, gravel started. Still we kept going. Then the gravel slowly transitioned into dirt. And the switchback turns started. Unable to find any place to turn around, we continued driving. Climbing higher and higher, getting more and more frightened with each corner as the trees shielding the fall disappeared and the chance of hitting an oncoming car increased due to our driving in their lane so as to stay away from the edge, we kept driving. We drove through groves of birch trees, and through the Wasatch State Park, we drove over Empire Pass, we drove up into the clouds, and were ecstatic to see any form of life such as a cottage, or a snowmobile, or even power lines. We had no cell phone coverage, and no one to rely on but ourselves, but we kept going. Finally, we started going down, the number of houses increased, as did the number of oncoming cars. We regained cell phone coverage and we were able to contact Sarah and tell her what was taking so long. We finally navigated our way back to the freeway and made it safely to Sarah's house. And despite the laughter, the fear, the insecurity of not knowing where we were, and all the other emotions we felt while on the drive we managed to find the positive in the experience.
I liken this experience to any other mistake we make in life. At first it is easy to turn around and repent, however, as you keep going it becomes less and less realistic to turn around. We feel like we are too far down the path to ever come back and repent. This is when the mistake forces us to do things that teach us something. As a result of our wrong turn and not turning around, we were forced to drive along an unsafe, long, road, making our trip longer and much less enjoyable than it could have been. We had to do things that we didn't want to just so that we could make it back to the right path, this is the same as when we make mistakes in our life. We sometimes have to confront people, or admit to things that we are ashamed about, but we have to do it in order to make our way back to the right path. Sometimes we even feel like we have lost contact with everyone around us, like we are alone, but let me reassure you that we never are. The savior will always help us, if we but call on him, even in the most difficult times in our life the Savior will be there for us. During our drive we said many prayers that we would be safe and find our way, and even though we couldn't call anyone we knew that we could call on the Lord. And even though we may feel like we are the only ones that have the problems that we have, there is always someone that has been through the same thing. If no one had ever travelled on the road we did, the road would not have been there. However, the most important thing about this whole experience is that with faith, and perseverance we made it safely back, even after our mistake.
Looking back it was a very good experience, even though it might have been hard at the time.
Safe and sound
*Estimate, please do not quote me in any court of law, or any other venue in which accuracy is vital.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Over the past year, my family has lost a few close friends. Each was unexpected and equally difficult for my father. Those of which I am writing about now were all men, in similar health and age to my father, and they were all friends of his. The memories of which I choose to recall are as follows:
1). Dave passed away leaving his wife, 3 sons, and daughter. Though I do not have a specific memory of Dave, I admire him for many reasons which I will now explain. Prior to becoming sick, Dave felt impressed to pay off all debts, and ensure that his family was taken care of. Following this prompting, he paid off his home, and a debt. While it is hard to know if he knew that he would not be here much longer, or if he was just trying to follow the council of the prophets, the important thing is that he followed the prompting of the spirit and blessed his family in countless ways. Dave was an engineer, he worked specifically on pacemakers. I recall Dave telling a story of a young man and the lose of his life. Because he works with pacemakers, one of the things that he must do is to monitor to pacemakers, to ensure that they are functioning correctly. When a pacemaker is failing, he is notified. Sometimes there are things that he can do, and other times there is nothing he can do. He told of a time in which he was notified and there was nothing he could do. He said that the most difficult thing was being forced to watch this young mans heart suffer and fail and have no way to help. He related the experience to how the savior feels when we chose to do things that harm us on an eternal perspective. I will forever admire Dave, and look forward to seeing him again someday.
2). Sean passed away alone in his house, and left behind a son. Sean worked for my parents. Shortly after Sean lost his job (as did we all) he and his wife divorced, leaving him alone. His death was the result of a malfunction of antidepressants. Shortly after hearing of the death of Sean, I was sitting in my sisters house trying to access the Internet. When all of a sudden I was connected to the Internet. At the time I could have sworn that was Sean's way of communicating with me that all was fine and that I should not fear. I now remember that I set up my computer to save the information necessary to connect to my sisters wireless, however, I cannot deny the feeling of peace that I felt when the event occurred.
3). Dallas passed away of unknown causes. Dallas was my father's friend from church. He was a stubborn veteran, addicted to morphine due to his time in the military. One of my last memories of Dallas was on the night before crimsonnaire initiations. He was over at my house, and he knew that I was worried about whether or not I would make it. I knew that initiations would happen that night, and that knowledge alone probably made it more stressful. I had to work that night, and while I was at work I got a phone call. To my surprise it was Dallas, he asked me for my cell phone number, confused, I gave it to him. I then went and got my phone and took it into the room I was working in (shh...don't tell my boss). A few minutes later, I received a text from an unknown number that said "Hey you know that thing you was worried about, don't". It was that moment that I knew I would make it! While it took away the element of surprise, it felt really good to know that Dallas cared enough about me to go through so much effort to keep me from worrying.
I know that talking about people that have died is not really uplifting, and you might be thinking I am now some Gothic, pain-loving weirdo...but I am not, sorry to disappoint you. I do have a reason. These three individuals all taught me important life lessons about what is important. From Brother Wiggins I gained a stronger testimony of the importance of following the promptings of the spirit. From Sean I became more sure that death is not a thing to fear because it will all be okay in the end. And finally from Dallas I have yet another example of how important it is to take the time to show others that we care about them. While caught in the whirlwind of life, it is easy to forget what really matters. It is only when we take the time to stop and think that we realize what we have been doing is insignificant in the larger scheme of things.
Reevaluating what is important
Saturday, May 29, 2010
About a month ago I finished my first year at Brigham Young University. It was amazing, I met the most amazing friends! And was blessed so many times. I can't even begin to give justice to all the blessings I received at school. I mean the car, my roommates, my jobs, understanding what I was studying, having enough time, getting to play Belle, etc. And no I was not blessed with the stereotypical BYU experience of being proposed to during my first semester...thank heavens (literally)! And unfortunately they do not hand out personalized liahonas that point us to the correct major and eternal companion, so now I am left to figure it all out on my own!
Here are the ideas I have come up with so far:
1. Music with emphasis in vocal performance- Singing is one of the most important things in my life, I don't know where I would be without it. However there is not a whole lot you can do with a degree in music except teach(and seeing as how most schools are cutting their music programs this would be difficult), or perform (and since I doubt I could ever make it big in the music industry this is not a very plausible idea). So getting this degree would be more just for the sake of getting the degree and mastering the art and talent I have been given.
2. School of Family Life with emphasis in human development- I love little kids! They are so amazing, full of love and light. Working with little kids has always been one of my greatest joys. My only hesitation is that if I get this degree at BYU I look like the typical girl that is really just looking for her RM and who just wants to be the perfect little wife and mother. Don't get me wrong, I want to get married, and have children but I hate it when people just try to meet everyone's expectations instead of figuring out who they really are. I know that I would get this degree with the right reasons but I don't want people to assume I am just some ditsy little girl.
3. Biology-Last semester I got a job as a Biology 100 TA for Dr. Riley Nelson. It was one of the biggest blessings of my college experience. I had never really considered this as option before I got the job, but now that I have it I realize how much I love it. I remember in high school spending hours studying biology (drawing out the charts, and rewriting all the definition, etc.). I love that I can look at things and question why they work the way they do, and I love that biology gives us a lot of these answers. I love how it all is so intricate and ornate. I would love to travel to beautiful places around the world and just learn about nature and the life there.
4. Business- This idea comes from always wanting to grow up and go to work in New York City in my pencil skirt and adorable blouse. I can just see myself working in a big building in the big city and loving every minute of of it. However, I am a little worried that it is not as glamorous as it all seems, and for all I know I could end up hating it.
5. Recreational Management- I would love to be an event planner and decorate weddings, dinners, or anything. This would probably be the most stressful but rewarding of all the ideas I have. I mean to watch everything you have planned come together (not perfectly) but to come together and to somehow work out is amazing. I know I could do something with this degree but I also know it would be difficult to get going with it.
6. Law- Ever since I watched Legally Blonde for the first time, I have wanted to be a lawyer. I find it fascinating how laws work, and I see so many flaws in our current system that I would love to be able to help correct. However, I don't know if I really want to be in school that long...
Six options and I still have no clue as to which one I should pursue. So for now I have been taking classes that are just general education (not even directing them towards any particular major). I am completely at a loss...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My bedroom at home had always seemed to be a hot spot for spiders to go on such missions. I am not sure why, but this has always been the case. Just since I have been home from college, there have been two found in my room, and the only spiders I had in my room at school were because of my Nature Experience and were safely double bagged and dead.
Two nights ago occurred one of these battles...
I was lying in bed reading Pride and Prejudice when I glanced up and saw the invader. I threw the book to the side, remembering to save my place of course, and jumped out of bed. I knew that my dad was still awake so I thought I would pull a "daddy will you save my from the big nasty spider card". It worked, we pulled out our weapon of war (the Swiffer) and proceeded to the site of the battle. Swiffer in hand, my dad made the first strike, slamming the head of the Swiffer onto the ceiling, which was a mere causality because of our textured ceilings. So a second strike was made, this time in addition to the initial hit a sliding motion was added (in effort to move the spider to a more convenient killing location). However, all that happened was the spider fell from the ceiling and could not be located. My father insisted that it was dead, however, I could feel the 12 little beady eyes still watching me and waiting till the coast was clear. Upon deciding I could not give up the search, I got down on my hands and knees and looked everywhere under and around my nightstand. It was difficult to see under the nightstand in the dark, however after much searching, I spotted the enemy, he was hiding in the shadow by the leg of my nightstand. Taking the Swiffer, I struck a blow onto the carpet but the nasty little thing merely used the carpet padding to reduce the impact. He then moved to a much larger "safe zone" under the nightstand. I then found his new location, and prepared to strike again, when this strike was carried out, I added more pressure to compensate for the carpet. That's when I heard the Swiffer crack, and break....causing a serious advantage for the spider. However, reinforcement came when my father returned to check on the situation. It turns out we had to pull out the nightstand to find the spider and my father killed him with his bare hands. I then put the nightstand back, said some heartfelt prayers that I would be safe from spiders, and went to bed.
I swear that somewhere in my house is a spider military headquarters, and they keep sending in bigger and quicker men to attack my room. I can just hear them now, "Another man down, we are going to have to up our forces and try again, lets send in the big guns". You might think this is ridiculous, however, I am quite positive that I am right. And how do I know this? Well you see...yesterday I was taking a shower, blissfully unaware of any spider activity, when I turn off the water, reach for my towel, look up and see a freaking huge spider right above the towel rack. And I don't know about you but I think there is just something wrong about that, I mean the two places I go and close my eyes for extended periods of time are the two places that they decide are great to explore, NOT OK with me! I mean its just wrong! Morally, and ethically wrong.
I am now determined to clean every surface of my bedroom (walls, carpet, ceiling, closet, and dusting everything) just to be sure there is not a permanent base anywhere. I have also considered bug bombing the room, but that just smells and would probably give the spider eggs immunity to it and make them stronger and harder to kill (and we all know that would not be good thing). SO for now I will continue cleaning and destroying any intruders I come across.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
1. The semi-dramatic staff-adds an element of pure entertainment. I mean hearing stories about some of the things people have done, oh I love it!
2. I get paid to play with kids, to act like a kid, and sometimes to just sit in a room holding an adorable baby.
3. The members scandals...I can't tell you how many members have left their spouse for another person, leaving behind trails of dirt that make it impossible to not know the story. Its really awesome when they go through two wives, both of which are still members of the club and see them regularly.
4. Walking into a room and hearing "Hello Teacher" "Wanna play with me?" or anything else that the kids say.
5. Having a mom drive past you as you walk out to your car, stop, backup and roll down her windows just to tell you that as she drove past, her youngest little girl says "mommy I really love that girl", and her older daughter say "Yeah me too". Breaks my heart to hear things like that.
6. When you babysit for kids one night (where they just sleep and see you for maybe a grand total of 10minutes) and you see them the next day and they remember you. Every time you walk in the room they run up and grab your legs. When you are finally zoned in the room with them, they want to play with you the whole time. So then when its time to go, you say "OK I have to go home now, I will miss you" And they respond "No I don't want you to leave me. Stay!" I don't even know why the kid likes me so much, but I don't mind it.
7. Free membership to one of the best fitness clubs in Oregon.
8. 25% discount on food in the restaurant, which is all delicious.
9. I can get as many hours or as few hours as I want...there are always people willing to cover shifts, and always people who don't want to work.
10. As you might already know...I really like to be in charge/in control of things, so when at 16 years old I was allowed to supervise Parents Escape (the night the parents drop off their kids and leave) I knew the job was meant for me.
11. Awesome hours, I mean it is not possible for me to ever work before 7:30am, or after 8:15pm (unless it is P.E. which goes until 9:45pm). But this really beats working until midnight, or later (*cough* Catering), or having to to bring work home and finish it along with all the other things I have to do (ummm...Biology).
12. Extremely simple and fun, yet never boring. OK sometimes its boring, but you have the choice to make it as fun as you want it to be.
13. I have to opportunity to see the look on parents faces when I make their day with a hilarious story about their kid.
14. Waking up babies because their parents are there to pick them up and watching their faces as they try to figure out what is going on.
15. Opens the door to the BEST babysitting jobs ever!!! (Well almost the best, babysitting my nieces and nephews still wins)
16. You see different kids everyday, and they are only there for two hours, so if you get tired of them, you can count down the time until they leave, but usually another kid you like comes and distracts you.
17. You get to sing little babies to sleep.
18. SO many twins!!! I love twins! Right now we have like 7 sets of twins that come consistently.
19. Bubbles!! I get paid to blow bubbles and watch the trance that comes over children when they see the bubbles.
20. The uniform, I know a lot of people that have to wear ridiculous uniforms to work. Usually they are either embarrassing, uncomfortable, or smell funny. Mine uniform consists of black Adidas Warm-Up pants, a blue jersey, a black Adidas zip-up jacket, and Adidas tennis shoes...comfortable, fairly normal looking, and don't smell bad (unless you don't wash them, but that's your fault then).
Don't worry, there will be more!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Phase 1: The first name
At a mere 15 years of age, I went to Especially for Youth (more commonly known as EFY) with my friends Susanna, Aubrey, and Kelsey. EFY is a church camp for youth 14-18 years old. My favorite place to go to EFY was in Tacoma, WA at Puget Sound University. So as could be expected, the most important thing there was finding some hot older guy to crush on, I had my share (one for each year)...lets see there was Nick (the dreamy pianist), Tyler (the awkwardly cute boy from the middle of nowhere), and Kory (the older and more mature counselor)..but that's not really part of the story. Anyways, the first year I went, was the year that math camp was being hosted on the same campus. I don't know about you but math camp isn't exactly my idea of summer vacation. And being the immature 15 year olds that we were, we found it hilarious to mock the math genius' (never to their face, but amongst friends). So at lunch one day we were goofing around and somehow came up with the hilarious idea to walk up to a math camper and introduce ourselves as Matha (with as hick of an accent as you could get).
Phase 2:Finishing the name
I am not sure if it was the same summer, or a year later, but the rest of the development occurred at Girls Camp. I recall being on our yearly hike with Aubree Lee, Susanna Gardner, and Aubrey Wiggins. We were talking to an elderly gentleman we liked to call Papa Roo (not sure where his name came from). But we convinced him that I was named Matha Lily Trigg, with a boyfriend named George. We had tons of detail about my alternate identity that I don't remember now, but the important thing that came from this all was the full name.
Phase 3: Trial
During my sophomore year of high school, the choir travelled to Jamestown, VA to sing at the 400th Anniversary of the Settling of Jamestown. While we were there a chaperon asked for our names, I think it was something to do with getting money back for lunch. Anyways, being the brat that I am, I told her my name was Matha Trigg with as straight a face as I could muster. And it worked, she believed me. And it became official, the name was the perfect alias.
That is about it for the development of my pseudonym Matha Trigg. I use it in any situation I deem worthy of a fake name...creepy people I meet, awkward situations, times when I am just bored and feel like messing with someones head, etc. I believe everyone should have a backup name just in case. I know mine....do you know yours?
Friday, May 14, 2010
You see, it all started after work on Wednesday, I took my workout clothing and decided that it would be wise to get in a workout between shifts. So I stair-mastered it up for a splendid 45 freaking minutes (which was only possible because of the wonderful distraction of a book). Then once I was thoroughly sweating through my t-shirt and the 45 minutes was over, I felt like I needed to do more (like 45 minutes on the StairMaster isn't good enough!!!). So I decided that the rowing machine would be a good way to switch up my workout a bit. 1000m and 6minutes later, I remembered how much the rowing machine focuses on the back muscles, so I thought it would be wise to counteract that with some good ol' fashioned crunches. Only the crunches I did were not old fashioned, (this is where pride comes in) thinking I could handle it, I decided that the elevated hanging-upside-down crunches would be a good idea. Started out strong, and finished 25 easy. (Pride enters again) I then began the second set of 25 (BIG MISTAKE!!!)...
I could feel the pain coming on that night, but it was too late already. Yesterday, was significantly worse, and then today I decided that I needed another workout (despite the amount of pain and soreness from Wednesday).
Today I ran for 33min on the treadmill, and then did the StairMaster for 33min. Realizing that it was mostly my upper abs that were sore, I figured I would workout my lower abs. (Probably not the best plan) So I did some knee raises, and some abdominal rotations, and some toe taps on an exercise ball.
And thus, we have my current condition...barely able to walk, sit, stand, move, etc. without being in pain. I still do whatever needs to be done, but it sure doesn't feel good. However, I am convinced that this too shall pass. And while I know I will only get more sore over the next few days, I know that the pain means improvement. It is things like this that help me to keep perspective of trials throughout life, for trials are placed in our lives to make us stronger, and even though it sucks, you do what you need to do to make it through and come out a better person. I am just hoping that I can keep up on the working out part, so that I don't lose all the progress I have made.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
You might be wondering what this has to do with anything, you see lately I have felt like vowing to never be constrained by marriage would be quite alright. As you may know, I don't exactly have the best of luck with the opposite sex, and at times I find them abhorrent. I should probably explain what exactly brought this all on...
To explain this I will give some stories for the three most recent "love interests" of mine, (for fear that this could be read by the wrong person, I will use pseudonyms instead)
1. Lets call this one Mr.Trying-too-hard-to-do-everything-perfect. I met Mr. Trying-too-hard in my ward at school this last year. He was an awkward fellow, but had this endearing quality about him. Something about the way he cared so much for everyone, and tried to help everyone possible to feel better about themselves, yet, he was just as sarcastic as I ever was, are probably the things that first made me attracted to him. In the end, I am sure it was my fault (like always) that nothing ever came from this relationship, not sure if it was the over usage of the term "friend" or my rebellious nature that sent him on his way. However, in the end, I got an ice-cream date, to embarrassing myself running, and to bake a few loafs of bread.
2. This one was more difficult for me to accept myself, but in hindsight, affects the overall feeling of this blog. I shall call him Mr. Smooth. Mr. Smooth was another friend from my ward at school. He is very good-looking, knows how to make any girl feel special, and is great when it comes to communication. However, knowing that he flirts with anything carrying double X chromosomes and that he dubs to be of some worth, I never really wanted to accept having feeling for him (in fact, I still don't). Somehow, despite all my efforts to not have feelings for him, I wound up with some. He may sound wonderful when you are talking about him, but then when you think about how many other girls are thinking the same exact things about him, the appeal goes away. In the end, I am registered to take a class with him in the fall (which I don't know how to get out of), stupidly told him that he will have to come visit me since he never said good-bye, and a better understanding of why you have to take things as they happen and not assume anything.
3. Aww...this one might be longer than the rest....but then again it could be shorter...hehehe. I will call this one Mr. High-School. I know, I know, the pseudonym could use a little work, but to be honest nothing really stands out in my mind when it comes to him. Mr. High-School and I met, well, in high school (a little before but that is beside the point). You see, I had the biggest crush on him throughout middle school and high school, and turns out he had one on me too. Well, it would have been easier back then if I had known all of this but turns out the reason nothing ever came from my relationship with him was all my fault. I was recently told (by him) that I make him a volatile creature with emotions going up and down constantly, I am a waste of time, a jerk, and I am not to speak to him ever again. First, I should explain why it is my fault he is a volatile creature around me, apparently, I make him think "oh maybe she likes me" and then I am jerk to him (which I admitted was true and apologised for). I am a waste of time because he didn't get what he wanted from the conversation we had the other night, and I am not allowed to speak to him for reasons I don't fully understand (I am assuming it is because he can't help but fall for me and so is trying to protect himself, but that's probably too hopeful!). Anyways, I don't really know what I have take from this besides a whole lot of knowledge.
While I will never swear off men, it has appeared to be a very attractive option in the last few months (and more so in the last week). I think there would be something liberating about being in control of not having anyone to share your life with, I mean if I vow them off then its in my control and not just because I am such a screw up. And to be honest, while I would give my life to have the perfect little family, I would be just fine doing my own thing. However instead I think I will just wait for prince charming to arrive on his white stallion and sweep me off my feet, because we all know that it doesn't work out well when I try. I didn't even begin to brush the surface of the guys that have screwed me over, and I don't think I want to put forth that much energy to write about them but I will say that it has been a learning experience.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The one the only.......drumroll..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Ashley and I have been friends for 4 years now. We met in Treble Choir (my sophomore year, and her freshman year) and were the only two people to sing our part. Once I found out she lived right around the corner, her fate was sealed, she would be my friend whether she liked it or not. Just a few weeks ago, I found out that she will be moving to Houston, TX (adding one more to the list of friends I have in Texas) with her family this summer. And while this doesn't affect much because next year we will both be at school anyways, it does make it harder to see her in the future. She won't be here for winter break, and summer, which is quite unfortunate because I am going to miss this girl!
Yesterday I had the opportunity to listen to Ashley sing for the first time in a while, she competed in the OMEA State Solo/Ensemble Competition and did amazing!....Okay.....well I didn't necessarily hear her compete....that's a story of its own.
Cassie and I drove down to McMinnville to watch the competition, we left a little late for multiple reasons and forgot how long it takes to get to McMinnville. We got there, parked, and then tried to find the building. Once we located the building, we ran about 1/4 mile to the building and got inside just as Ashley and her family were walking out of the room...
But that's all beside the point...so after that whole experience, we decided to go to McMinnville's famous Alf's for milkshakes! (They were quite delicious I might add, I got the peanut butter and added chocolate, best milkshake I have ever had!) While we waited we played trivia games and I now know that on the Time Magazine 1990 "Who gives a hoot?" Issue there was a spotted owl on the cover, which might come in handy at some point. We then drove back to Ashley's house, and had her re-perform her songs, which brings us to the point.
Ashley is an amazing girl with an amazing talent, and I really hope she realizes how great she is. The resonance, the tone, the quality, and the technique were all superb. And even though she was singing after just eating ice cream, it was amazing! She has come so far since the days when I stood next to her in choir. She is going to go far, I can't wait to hear her continue to improve! Maybe one day Ashley and I will hold a concert together in Carnegie Hall :) Only time can tell! While Ashley will probably never read this I hope she knows how much I look up to her.
a truly amazed/jealous friend
Saturday, May 1, 2010
You see it all started with an ad on Jobdango. My father found it on Sunday (which was odd in itself because he never files his unemployment on Sunday and never searches for jobs either), the job had been posted that day and was listed as urgent. After reading over it, my dad encouraged me to apply for the position. I mean who turns down the opportunity to earn $2,500/month nannying?
Anyways, I sent in my resume and cover letter and waited for a response. And this is what I got:
Hello Kirsten ,
Thanks for your interest to babysit my baby boy, Eric. I'm Ford Witwicky, and my wife died three months ago of car accident, I don't want to talk about this but, I think it is important since you would be working as Eric's Nanny. Eric is 25 months old .. I am out of the city based on my business that is really booming here and my son and I will be arriving shortly back to the city by 8th of May, 2010.
Eric is here with me right now for holiday . After a serious discussion with my father-in-law concerning a proper care for him, we finally decided to search for a good and responsible Nanny/babysitter. Below you see our offers:
The hours are 9:30 am - 2:00 pm Monday - Thursday, on Friday until 3.30 pm. If you can't work the hours, you can work during the Weekend while I get someone else to do the this hours..
The monthly pay is 2500.00 for live out and 2100.00 for live in. We will be responsible for your transportation which in exclusive of your weekly salary regardless of the distance. I'm strongly searching for someone of well mannered attitudes, neatness and good sense of relationship. We are a Christian family and we love our religion so basically everything we do is according to our doctrines, I don't mind your religion but just letting you know so we don't offend you. If you are interested in this offer, please answer all the questions below so I can have a brief idea of your personality:
1) What academic qualifications do you possess?
2) Do you have any relevant certificate to back up your babysitting/Nanny career?
3) How old are you?
4) Are you married?
5) What is the name of your City?
6) Do you have any crime records?
7) Tell us more about your temperament .
8) Can we have one or two reference's from you, please send email and phone number for them?
9) Can you handle money if you are given an assignment to carry out?
10) Is your husband/boyfriend/parent in support of you doing this job?
Let me know if you will be available for the work offer. If you have any questions as regards this offer, feel free to get in touch with me. You can work during the Weekend only, if you can't work during the week due to other job or studies. I await a response at your earliest convenience.. If the hours are not okay by you let me know your schedule. Thanks Mr. Ford.
Sounded convincing enough to me...I responded, trying to sound as appealing, yet accurate, as possible.
After a few email back and forth things started to get a little fishy. My dear friend Ford Witwicky wanted me to purchase things for his son before I had ever met the child, he told me he was going to have his company send me a check for my first weeks pay, money to purchase items for the child, and a hefty sum that I was to mail to some "agent" in Ala-freakin-bama so that he and his son could confirm their flights to the US.
This raised quite the alarm for my family. Resulting in a full-fledged Internet investigation conducted by my older sister, Helen. Check out this website to see what we found: http://www.4nannies.com/info/Nanny-Scams.cfm
Suffice to say, I was scammed. Now feeling like a complete idiot, I am left to question why someone would do such a thing, what is going to happen now, why didn't I catch this earlier, why trust our society, etc. I admit there were red flags all over the place, but in an effort to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and out of wishful thinking, I let all these blatantly obvious signs pass over my head. And now I'm just a little bit mad. I mean who in the world does this idiot think he is? The "mother died in car accident" card is ridiculously wrong, seriously people, its hard enough for me to not be drawn to kids as it is but a kid without a mother...geeez! And really, does he think I am that stupid? I admit he had me tricked but I'm not stupid. I guess I just feel like its hard to trust people in our society when their are idiots out there like that. I feel really, really used, and I don't like that. I mean they didn't even have the decency to change the questions for me.
The moral of the story is this: SCAMS ARE REAL, they do happen, they are not fun, be careful people! And when is doubt take it up with the man upstairs! I just pray that who ever Ford Witwicky is will get the justice they deserve.
Hopeless for our society
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Remember when we thought we were so cool because we got to sit on the football field and watch the sunrise...
Remember when we turned down dates to go to the invitational dance with friends, and it turned out to be the best decision ever...
As we all know, I really dreaded going to school in the first place, so when I found myself enjoying my time there I was shocked more than anyone else. From the vast amount of attractive boys to choose from to the never ending opportunities for fun, college isn't all that bad after all, its actually slightly awesome. I am sure I will write more as time goes, so for now I will leave it at that.
OK, back on subject. So upon returning back to my house in Oregon (the best place on the planet) I found myself to be extremely exhausted. So I slept all day Sunday, babysat my adorable nephews (who happen to be sick) on Monday, and found myself miserable on Tuesday morning. I'm not sure if it was the drop in adrenaline or simply exposing myself to foreign diseases, however, I feel like someone is stomping on my nasal cavities and its getting slightly annoying to say the least. So upon remembrance that I still have health insurance, I decide a trip to the doctor might just be in my future, but when I can't for the life of me find my health insurance card I realize that this is the one thing I have not been able to find since I returned home. So I search in every imaginable place, the box I put all the last minute items, my wallet, laptop bag, even the container I store all my personal hygiene. Its no where to be found! After giving up the search, I begin to weigh the situation to see if its worth it to call and order a new insurance card or not. And as I was lying on my death bed, I rolled over and saw the apartment contract that I still need to sign and mail in, I pick it up to check the date that the money is due, and guess what falls out...That's right! My health insurance card!
I still haven't decided whether I should just be grateful I found it or annoyed that I didn't look there sooner! Chances are I will settle on a mixture of both but until then I am going to go to the doctor and get unsick!
I am sure other things will be lost before I am finally done with this transition stage of my life, but until then I just hope everything is found sooner or later!
the lump on the bed
Monday, April 26, 2010
Anyways, I look forward to letting you all know what is going on inside of my brain (that way you all understand my insanity a little better).