Artemis, the Goodess of the Hunt

The ancient Greeks worshipped the Goddess Artemis, goddess of the hunt, wild animals, wilderness, childbirth, virginity, fertility, young girls and disease in women and often was depicted as a huntress carrying a bow and arrows. Artemis desired to remain an unmarried virgin for all time, which is slightly ironic considering she happens to be the goddess of childbirth.
You might be wondering what this has to do with anything, you see lately I have felt like vowing to never be constrained by marriage would be quite alright. As you may know, I don't exactly have the best of luck with the opposite sex, and at times I find them abhorrent. I should probably explain what exactly brought this all on...

To explain this I will give some stories for the three most recent "love interests" of mine, (for fear that this could be read by the wrong person, I will use pseudonyms instead)

1. Lets call this one Mr.Trying-too-hard-to-do-everything-perfect. I met Mr. Trying-too-hard in my ward at school this last year. He was an awkward fellow, but had this endearing quality about him. Something about the way he cared so much for everyone, and tried to help everyone possible to feel better about themselves, yet, he was just as sarcastic as I ever was, are probably the things that first made me attracted to him. In the end, I am sure it was my fault (like always) that nothing ever came from this relationship, not sure if it was the over usage of the term "friend" or my rebellious nature that sent him on his way. However, in the end, I got an ice-cream date, to embarrassing myself running, and to bake a few loafs of bread.

2. This one was more difficult for me to accept myself, but in hindsight, affects the overall feeling of this blog. I shall call him Mr. Smooth. Mr. Smooth was another friend from my ward at school. He is very good-looking, knows how to make any girl feel special, and is great when it comes to communication. However, knowing that he flirts with anything carrying double X chromosomes and that he dubs to be of some worth, I never really wanted to accept having feeling for him (in fact, I still don't). Somehow, despite all my efforts to not have feelings for him, I wound up with some. He may sound wonderful when you are talking about him, but then when you think about how many other girls are thinking the same exact things about him, the appeal goes away. In the end, I am registered to take a class with him in the fall (which I don't know how to get out of), stupidly told him that he will have to come visit me since he never said good-bye, and a better understanding of why you have to take things as they happen and not assume anything.

3. Aww...this one might be longer than the rest....but then again it could be shorter...hehehe. I will call this one Mr. High-School. I know, I know, the pseudonym could use a little work, but to be honest nothing really stands out in my mind when it comes to him. Mr. High-School and I met, well, in high school (a little before but that is beside the point). You see, I had the biggest crush on him throughout middle school and high school, and turns out he had one on me too. Well, it would have been easier back then if I had known all of this but turns out the reason nothing ever came from my relationship with him was all my fault. I was recently told (by him) that I make him a volatile creature with emotions going up and down constantly, I am a waste of time, a jerk, and I am not to speak to him ever again. First, I should explain why it is my fault he is a volatile creature around me, apparently, I make him think "oh maybe she likes me" and then I am jerk to him (which I admitted was true and apologised for). I am a waste of time because he didn't get what he wanted from the conversation we had the other night, and I am not allowed to speak to him for reasons I don't fully understand (I am assuming it is because he can't help but fall for me and so is trying to protect himself, but that's probably too hopeful!). Anyways, I don't really know what I have take from this besides a whole lot of knowledge.

While I will never swear off men, it has appeared to be a very attractive option in the last few months (and more so in the last week). I think there would be something liberating about being in control of not having anyone to share your life with, I mean if I vow them off then its in my control and not just because I am such a screw up. And to be honest, while I would give my life to have the perfect little family, I would be just fine doing my own thing. However instead I think I will just wait for prince charming to arrive on his white stallion and sweep me off my feet, because we all know that it doesn't work out well when I try. I didn't even begin to brush the surface of the guys that have screwed me over, and I don't think I want to put forth that much energy to write about them but I will say that it has been a learning experience.

Until later,
forever single?